MonDay

My weekend Was thee Greatest. chilled wit a new friend... ;) errything else went as planned. im pretty happy wit errything rite now.....OHh no im not, besides my sons stupid doctors office. they tell us to bring him in as a walk in and after we sit in their dirty ass waiting room full of other sick ass babes for 2 1/2 hours they tell us we'r goin to have to take him to their other location downtown at 4 so wen can b seen at 6? wuh thee F is this world coming to? my poor baeby all hella sick n shit. lookin lik a puppy. :( lol he said chocolate milk for thee first time the other day...it wass more lik ChoKo mill...lol he says new shizz erry day now i cant keep track...lol i love him! <3

ToniTe Is Tha Nite..OooO toNite IS tha Nite

That i dont think OF u at all....or try....lol this morning wassss awesome, made steak n eggs for breck digged around in dirt wit izzy! -love u baeby!- lookin for buggs...lmao.fun.....Today is goin to be wonderful! goin to costco, G comes back from Disney LAnd LUCKY bitch!, then imma make a pineapple upside down cake for thee house eat a bomb ass dinner! then somewhere between that and sleep! imma get in thee shower!......ToniTe is goin to b thee shizzZ. goin to get a TaTT, stoppin by natomas for a good time then back to thee east for sum BizZ..and mayb an after party...iiifff a speciall sum1 isnt already wasted....lol Val....not sayin ne specific names...LOVe My Life!ima hit u tomorrow<3 Keepin it freeeeeessh to DEATH Shelly Shel! PS. BITCH how do my Left oVERS taste!

i Wrote This To Him Thee Other Nite...

Youve hurt me beyond repair. i dont kno wuh else to say or how else to say it. u dont want me? fine thats all good and graveey wit me...buh dont ever EVER say u or isiah will never need me. u have no rite to speak for him and no rite to come at me like the way u do. im done wit u as much as u said ur done wit me. i thought mayb MAYB i cud try to resolve somethin wit u mayb forgiv u buh not after tonite...i am really done and i feel sorry for u if u think im joking. iam really trying MORE then trying every day and if u dont think that then u REALLY DONT KNO ME AT ALL and thats a shame... i hav a plan and goals always have, they just had to change after everything that went down wit me n u....Im done letting u turn me into this ugly ass person wen im around u.im done.mayb u think if u turn me ugly itll b easier for u to get over me? i dunno? buh im toooooo beautiful for that shit. the way u felt wen i was PG and we wer livin in cordova inn and u werent able to provide for us and u wer feelin down and mayb embarassed..i feel lik that erryday..erryday. and all the hateful shit u have to say to me only brings me down even more THATS Y I AVOID TALKIN TO U. i am takin steps to my future mayb its not the shortcut i wanted, buh eventually I WILL get to where i wanna go. i will admit wen i quit my job to go to art skool while u provided for us was a short cut and i wasnt thinkin rite bcuz i was too excited and actually believed that this person who loves me soo is goin to let me shine lik he knows i can and i think u got selfish and decided at the last min. u didnt want me to become more independent or find a career that i wud only dream of. mayb u were a lil jelous bcuz u wer thirsting for education lik i was and it was soo much easier for me...I LOVED U WIT MY ALL...Y WUDNT I WANT U TO HAV THE SAME THAT I WANT FOR MYSELF??????im just trying to say that u had ur time to shine. u had the benz. u have thee high paying job that u wudve killed for back in that hotel room. u got to ur goals mayb not ur ultimate goal buh wen do i get to accomplish something?? I love you with all my heart...ive never put u down on ne of the decisions uve made besides the recent ones. ive always supported u in all ur dreams and goals...i wanted nothing buh the best for u and our family but rite now it seems that ur willing to just toss every thing that was once just goals and now that we've met them u dont like the outcome? instead of throwing it all away, throwing me away and taking the easier route y not take the harder route the one you could actually learn from and grow from together. when did we stop working together? Take the route isiah would be proud of....


i do hav a job i just dont get it till i finish my training. i am guaranteed a job that pays ATLEAST 13 a hour. mayb thats not as much as u make buh i can always continue my schooling while im working that job and eventually make 22 a hour as a nic nurse. then mayb i could go some where for art.....
the way u r treating me isnt fair. i take care of our son every day. u shudnt want me to be sad, mad, or depressed around him u shud want me at my BEST around him all the time. u shud want my love for him and his father to always shine threw every thing i do for him everyday...U SHUD b helping me if u really love ur son.bcuz he loves me.



dont help me its good. dont help me at all. Financially, wit isiah, rides, the hole shit.u dont have to be the one i count on anymore. buh dont talk to me the way u did tonite ever again. if u dont have anything nice to say to me dont say it at all. THATS THE ONLY THING I WANT FROM U.



Nobody is not born complete. we r "built" or born with everything to get by. it is our second nature to want to learn, grow and build our own personalities. to find ur "other half" or partner for life, is the ultimate complete and cant get threw life no other easier way buh to hav someone next to u as ur right hand man, some one u can count on, trust, make generations with, and they WILL compliment u bcuz you are complete and for them to be ur other half they wud have to be complete theirselves and will bring more positive to ur energy u bring to life.Thats Love.


u were my other half. And u hurt me beyond repair.



~I think tonite imma have him take me out for lamb...i love lamb. he "wants to talk"

Just another Day in My Life.

Sooooo Where should i start....its bin long.feels lik forever. ummmm well no luck on my job search...i got a email that the maceys at sunrise is hiring but the stupid computer or they're page was fuckin up and wudnt let me apply..ima try tomorrow..its another day..im pretty sure me n BBdad is offically over. i don't know what he wants. i guess i can say i've never known what he wants buh its clear he doesnt want a family any more. or me any way. i cant do anything else but continue with my life and get my shit together. fuck his feelings and what he wants any more, its about me and my son now. thats how i feel rite now. if i cant figure out what he wants then y even bother?? i know what i want soo imma satisfy ME and what i know i want. And its not this drama.
He wants me...he doesnt want me
He cant live with out me...he hates me
He wants me to move in....he wants justin to move in
He wants isiah this weekend...he doesnt
He wants to see isiah today...no tomorrow
He wants to help me get on my feet....he doesnt want anything to do with me?
All of this and more? if this makes sense to anybody feel free and contact me...bcuz i dont get it after 3 lonnng ass years...it didnt feel long at all till we broke up? y does it do that? And he still has the nerv to get jelous even tho he says hateful shit to me and makes it clear he doesnt want me? if that isnt disfunctional i dont know what is.

Any Way As Usual this weekend ima TRY to get all this off my mind, get away..till monday anyway...



Goodnite my LOVE. Goodnite SIS. Goodnite G.-i miss u! lol Goodnite WORLD!


KeePiN iT FreSh Ta DEATH shEllY sheL<3

FRIDAY

Im SooOo So TIRED. las nite i jus stayed in for thee nite. had a gurls nite in chilled. i feel sooo drained. i dunno wuh ima do for thee weekend my Party Gurls wanna pull all nighters again! lol good times. i need ta catch up on my sleep tho. i havent slept 8 hours in like about a week giv or take a day. yesterday i only got 4 hours of sleep the rest of thee week it was lik 3 or 5 here and there...Ima take iZZy to the park today. hopefully it stays beautiful...i cant wait for thee summer!! im starting Skool in August! cant wait! i miss homework...lol i kno im not fins ta b sayin that then..buh yea its Monday-Thursday 12-5 No Skool on Fridays or saturday or Sundays! i love havin sundays off from everything! Now i jus needs ta find this stupid job. i hate the economy. and Bush. i wish he'd jus do us a favor and walk off thee Earth.I wish i couple ppl wud do that...if only. Ima hit u later.


LoVe ShEllY!



<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

HAPPY ST. PATTYS!

O MY SHIT y am i sooo sick! BBdad is goin ta bring me some medicine in thee morning i feel soooooo awful. its rediculous...Hhhhmmf today was tiring and slow. Isiah is thee best baby i could ever ask for!!hes sooo adorable i wish every one in thee world could know him the way i do, then there would be peace..kids have that kind of effect on people i dont know any body who could honestly say they hate kids. hate is a strong word that u would wish they were dead if u hate them....all the stress, tears, and problems with my life right now melt away wen i look at him. Hes my every thing!im tired and missing my bed soo ima go say hello to it and hit u tomorrow...LOVE YOU Izzy!

Goodnite World. Goodnite Love, i hope to find u again some day. Goodnite. Goodnite!

KeepIN it FreSH to DeatH ShEllY

Tuesday

Gianna- Today is sooo Dead and Silent...
Whats goin on for St. Patricks day tho?? last year was hella fun...it was a BLAST. ima hit this up later tho.