J. Cole - Cheer Up

Thinking outLOUD. bcuz my head is going to burst.

SoooO I'm trying to figure out FOR MYself what determines someone for ME? Even when your not trying to play "games" in ALL actuality- dating is a big ass, suck it, mud fight, game.

• 
  When you first meet its "guess who?"- who is this person? (are they a creep?, jealous?, lazy?, obnoxious?, do they smell?, are they smart enough for you? then you start categorizing them under "types" or comparing them to other guys you've dated/met...etc)


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  The first date "Classic Charades"- for some dam divine reason we think some how the other person develops some telekinesis over night and will be able to guess all our clues/tells of what we like/dislike or what makes us happy/unhappy. (Some study- shows that almost all of miscommunication is through body language...
  For example- this was brought to my best friends attention at a seminar the speaker said "Men nod their head to show that they're paying attention and women nod their head in agreement..." the miscommunication comes in when you put yourself in a situation.)


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  The awkward PDA "Battleship"- its a hit or miss. No matter what, for someone, its going to be awwwwkward. on either siDe . if it was a perfect date for her. it was awkward for him. she likes holding hands but he doesn't because their hands get sweaty and he can't tell whos leading who?. it was a perfect kiss for her and he was expecting more (:, she ordered a steak and he was only planning to pay for a salad. (you get it)


• 
  Then there's getting the 411 "Telephone"- you want to get the word out you have dibs or whatever..mark your territory. so you tell your friend, who you know will ask their other friend, who knows the cousin, of the ex to get their side of the story. Or you just want to confirm anything that was said on the date...OR casually brings up their name in front of a specific group of mutual ppl JuSt to shake it up and see what falls out. (the problem with telephone is thisss is where most friendships and/or dates DIE)
  But what happens when its someone nobody knows?
  They're from out of state...different culture..background...different HS..Just completely different. Then it doesn't really matter if you turn out to be the fool, right? Because nobody will hear about it...
  Let go and Let god?
  HhhMmmmmmmmmm.
  Interesting, is it mad to answer your own questions?
  Good night C:
  
  

How do you REALLY feel..

How are you supposed to feel- when the guy you brag that had been thee best boyfriend, to you, so far, in your "adult" life, doesn't even consider you in return?? wth. reallytho .
smh
tell me what I did wrong. -___- "wrong"
so i can decide if its worth changing in my life so that i can later advance.
I don't get why ppl have an issue with being honest when someone asks for criticism? I get offended, seriously you think its about you? no it's about me- ALL about me.
Because in the end everyone is only out for theirs.
So stick it and im KEEPing my compliments.

Hhmmmmm....

So far [romantically speaking] i've been going with the 'flow'...And So far i've only learned...the more carefree you are the less car-ing the other person is. Hhmmmmm so the question is~ am i ready to care if someone cares? I mean it makes sense, everyone is different but alot of guys expect females to care if they didn't get a text or call from a guy asap. It's funny that some guys pride their selves on it -__- no lie i've seen it first hand. Truth is majority of guys LOVE the attention and obsessive females. And truth is..HAHA i honestly don't see how all that energy could be worth anything?? I don't hold anything against anyone nor does it bother me enough to regret anything...i gave it a good run and met alot of intresting ppl and personalities.. But i am still a woman with wants/needs and feelings. Haha i've always been "one of the guys". As hard as i may try to compress my feelings, I think it was something someone said to me, and it started a snowball effect....i've categorized men all the time but it wasn't till i was categorized a couple times then i realized im NOt one of the guys. im a female..smh. The terms are branded onto my skull and can't get it off my mind. BS aside i think im going to clean out my lil "black book".
Good thing its in pencil;)
Lesson here? yess..Don't dish it out if you can't stomach it yourself.